(caller ID name: Unknown Caller; number: 1) -- 2nd time calling today.
Me: beep! please leave a message.I guess I didn't play along for long enough to keep Michael interested...
Caller: (call center static starts to kick in)
Me: Hello, hello?
Caller: (in his muted Indian accent) Hello, is this Adam Howard?
Me: Why, who is this?
Caller: This is Michael. How are you?
Me: Good, how are you?
Me: Oh, good, I had been wondering.
Michael: The purpose of this call is to inform you your name and number have been selected to receive a $7,000 dollar grant.
Me: Oh, will that affect my taxes?
Michael: Excuse me?
Me: Will this affect my taxes?
Michael: Yes, you can use this money to pay your bills, or your taxes, or buy a car.
Me: $7000 isn't going to be enough for the car I want. Can you increase the grant?
Michael: What was that?
Me: I'm not going to be able to buy the car I want for just $7,000.
Michael: (catching on that this call is going nowhere) Ok...
(1:40 into the call)